Pom Pom Mayhem

I hate making pom poms. It's NOT easy, people! They never come out even and pretty and perfect. They come out all lopsided and uneven and stupid looking. I have been to SEVERAL websites that have posted on how to make these evil little yarn balls.
I know, it looks like a simple little cute addition to your hats, sweaters, jewelry, shoes, socks, gloves and whatever else you want to use pom poms for. Cute, yes. Easy to make, no. How come?!  How come everyone else's pom poms come out great, but I have the most difficult time making mine nice?! I just want nice ones. I don't mind having to trim up and cutting off the strays. But, when one side is two inches longer than the other side, and there's not enough on the shorter side to do anything with, ARGH!!!!!
Oh, the mayhem of POM POMS!!!!!! I follow directions. I do what it says, and still, mayhem!
I, eventually, WILL master this evil little monster. I have to! Everyone else makes these things like it's nothing. I need to be able to make pom poms. That's all there is to it. Once I get it mastered, I will post my perfect pom pom!
Are pom poms supposed to be perfect? If not, tough. I'm getting it as close to perfect as I can. I have experimented with every type of pom pom markery that I could find online. But I need to take parts of each one, and put them all together. Or maybe I might just need to throw it all out of the window! Forget about everything there is to know about making pom poms. Make a pom pom in an unorthodox fashion. I have no idea how I do this. I will figure it out soon!
The reason I'm going on about these pom poms...
I made a slouch hat in Heather grey and magenta. I made a sloppy, sorry and pitiful pom pom to top it off. I'm keeping this hat for myself. It's going to be getting cold, and I have no hats. I have hats to sell, but not any to keep. So this one, I'm keeping. It will match the scarf I made myself last year, out of the same Heather grey yarn! And my coat! It's black and Heather grey! Did you say mittens?! Don't mind if I do!! I think I'll go with a basic, quick mitten. I'll be posting pictures soon!! I'm excited!
I have work to do. I can't stay and blog allllllllllllll day!
Until next time,
Tonya